When I look over my journey of this thing thus far, I have seen the greatest growth in me when I said, “YES!”
I started out as the “runner”…now to be fair, I never actually physically ran, but from day 2… I was contemplating how to escape…why I should escape: It was too good! I was too undeserving! There were too many obstacles. He was too into me. And OMG… what was I getting myself into. On day 2… I’d say about 36 hours into knowing each other, I received a text from my twin saying he was thinking about me and that we really have “connection.”
My response (I apologize for the swearing… ha ha but this is accurate to how I was feeling within) was, “Shit! Shit! Mother Fucking shit!” I was ready to run. Looking for all the reasons it couldn’t work. Here’s the screen shot of the screen shot I sent my best friends about this situation… Lol.. no exaggeration going on here
And then, within an hour, magic happened. I received a package from Danielle LaPorte that I had ordered even before the twin-sperience began. (Side note… I had no idea I was entering the twin zone at this point… it was way too new… and I really had no thought in my head that it was this thing.. I just thought it was like.. whoa… ) In this package, was a card that says, “Love rewards the brave.” I read that card… and I was like. Ok. This is my sign. I want love. I want a great love. I have been calling in an epic love. You don’t get that by giving in to a few lil obstacles like being across the country…or whatever other nonsense excuses my mind was coming up with at this time. This moment was the moment I said, “YES” to this love, to the twin-sperience. I lit a candle and documented it on Instagram. (you can see… same day stamp!) This card has been on my altar since that day, reminding me every day… to be brave… to say YES!
Now to be fair, since then, this journey and the ups and downs have mostly consisted of the times where I have contemplated running as the low points, and the high points where I surrender and say YES! I committed to being brave… but it’s still a daily decision.
My first meeting with Lee and Sherry… they immediately pointed out, that I was running. “I am”?!?! I squeaked when they said that.. but I see it! From minute 1, I was looking for reasons this thing, whatever it was, with beautiful potential… I was looking for a way out, a reason to get out. Perhaps, you can see a lil piece of you in this story?
Another huge turning point was after I got through the hardest part of my soul shock experience (read more about that here) I was still contemplating what to do. I had people in my life telling me someone new, a soulmate was coming in for me, but I was conflicted. I didn’t want to start love triangles. I didn’t want to be with someone else when I had all these feelings for my twin. I was torturing myself over these decisions I was trying to make. And then, I went back to that beginning lesson that I started with. There was this thing… it definitely did NOT look how I wanted it to look at this point, but now I had a lil more clarity and understanding of what I was going through… What did I want to do? I decided to say YES once again. Yes to this dance! Yes to a chance! Yes to what my heart and soul said they were desiring to do in that moment. Yes to the universe’s plan to me. Part of this is knowing that I don’t know what this will look like, but that Yes was the most liberating yes for me. I went from wishy washy stuck in my head to empowered… this is how I’m moving forward… and the magic keeps on unfolding. That was right around Christmas time… Interestingly, it was when Saturn was conjunct my natal Neptune… a time I tell my clients is a time of a leap of faith. I think this is one of the biggest leaps of faith I’ve taken yet. To say YES whole-heartedly to this journey.
One of the most interesting synchronicities on this path has been that since I met him, I’ve been having clients coming into my life saying they are a twin, or clients in a twin experience wondering what was going on with them. I was like… ohhh… this is part of my path. I need to go through these energies so I can help bring the light and guide others through this energy. These blogs are part of my saying yes to this energy… These lessons, trials, tribulations, challenges are not all for naught. Show up, say yes… and see what the universe brings you! Side note: if you are saying yes, but not feeling the yes on all your levels – body, mind, spirit, soul… then that is a cue to say YES to yourself instead and do some inner work. You will find your way into your full embodied yes. It’s also knowing, your yes may look different, take a different path than my yes… Honor your yes! Honor your path! Honor your sacred journey! Say yes to you! I leave you with a song that has been in my head as I have typed this up! Just say yes!
It’s not a test, nor a trick of the mind
You know it is
We can’t be to and fro like this
All our lives
You’re the only way to me
The path is clear